


The End of the Line

by fandometcetera



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Death, Character Study, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Stony - Freeform, Stucky - Freeform, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29370288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandometcetera/pseuds/fandometcetera
Summary: Steve Rogers has experienced more than enough loss in his life. These are the three conversations and the three losses that led up to his decision to leave it all behind in Avengers Endgame.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	The End of the Line

**Author's Note:**

> Yes it is 2021 and I'm still in denial about Steve Roger's ending and decided to write a fic where he says goodbye to three people who would have been a better endgame for his character than Peggy Carter. Be sure to let me know what you all think, this will probably stay a one-shot for now but I might be open to expanding, or maybe doing a series of this style (Endgame era depressed Steve Rogers). These can all be read as romantic or platonic, whatever floats your boat. Enjoy!

“Can’t sleep?”

She turns to him with the faintest of smiles on her lips. This much is not a rare occurrence for them. Long hours and nightmares came with the job description, and if there were any two Avengers most likely to be found on their feet well into the night it was the Soldier and the Spy. 

“Well you know, big day tomorrow,” She motions for him to take a seat beside her on the couch. He crosses the room swiftly and silent, a thousand things still weighing on his mind. 

“We’ve been waiting for this a long time.”

“Which is why we’re going to do it right this time.” She doesn’t say it but he knows what she really means,  _ together _ . “And maybe once this is all over we can work on getting that whole life thing you keep talking about.”

The danger and unpredictability of this entire situation is unlike anything they’ve ever faced before. He doesn’t want to leave tomorrow unsure about anything or with any more regrets. It was a desire he’d lost hope of fulfilling a long time ago but suddenly it emerged to the surface once more. He wanted to tell her because he wanted her to know. Even if she didn’t feel the same way, even if she never could. If something happened to him tomorrow he doesn’t want to leave anything unsaid. 

“Things might not go our way. I just want you to know...” he paused unsure, hardly able to meet her gaze. “Nat, if anything happens...”

“Don’t.” There’s such certainty in her voice that he’s nearly convinced to drop it. But a part of him is still unsure, needs her to know. She seems to notice this. “Nothing’s happening to you, Steve. We’re going to do this tomorrow. We’re going to bring everyone back. Then you can tell me.”

He offers a half-smile. “I thought I was supposed to be the optimistic one.”

She laughs ironically without much humor. “Exactly, stop making me do your job for you, Rogers.” The teasing is back in her tone and he knows now that he won’t tell her tonight. But tomorrow... “And I don’t want any more sappy goodbye attempts. It’s not that serious. We’ll be gone and back in a minute.” 

He’s still not entirely convinced, but he’s hopeful. “Goodnight Natasha.” He leans in and presses a quick kiss to her cheek. She squeezes his arm reassuringly as he heads for the door, certain this is not the end. They’ll get through this tomorrow, whatever it takes. 

He’s just taken his spot on the portal and he feels her eyes on him. He turns to catch her gaze. There’s a hint of nerves there, the same kind they’re all feeling, but there’s just as much excitement too. It is time travel after all. It’s surreal, perhaps a bit uncertain and dangerous, but definitely exciting. 

A grin dances across her lips as she turns to him, and just him, for the briefest of moments. 

“See you in a minute.”

He smiles.

* * *

“Come with me. We can do this together.”

“Do you realize what you’re asking Steve?” 

Bucky’s studying him with a deep-rooted concern in his gaze. Steve feels it weighing him down but he’s not going to budge, not on this. He’s made up his mind. 

“I can’t stay here anymore, Buck. I mean first Nat, then Tony...” He trails off, his voice unable to form the proper words. 

“I know how much you cared about them.”

The super soldier looks up to meet the other man’s eyes. The funeral had only been a few hours ago. Steve had stayed silent through it all. The same thoughts had continuously ran through his head the entire time.

_ He’s really gone. _

_ This is your fault. _

_ It should have been you. _

“I can’t be here without them.” The realization is crushing, especially as he sees the twinge of pain in his friend’s gaze. He tries to remedy his statement. “It’s not that...I just, I see them everywhere. Nat was with me through everything. And now she’s gone. And Tony...it was my fault Bucky. He didn’t even want to help us. He has a daughter, and she’s going to grow up without her father because of me.”

“This isn’t your fault Steve. You saved all of us.”

“I know.” His eyes wander over to the lake, the groups of people making casual conversation and reminiscing about the fallen hero. Most of these people were dust a few days ago. Many of them would not be here without the plan the Avengers had concocted and the ultimate sacrifice made by Natasha and Tony. Steve is reminded of a conversation he had with the man only moments before they’d jumped into their final mission together. 

_ Bring back what we lost? I hope, yes. Keep what I found, I have to, at all costs. _

Steve thinks he understands now what Tony had meant. Because there is a certain gratitude at having Bucky sitting beside him now, knowing Sam is off chatting with Scott and Wanda, and Fury is already analyzing this new world with a plan to move forward. There’s a relief having back everything they lost, but Steve can’t bring himself to feel any triumph of victory. Because yes they won, but if it means Tony and Natasha are gone what kind of victory is that? 

“It’s just...the Avengers are gone. It’s time to move on. And even if the world still needs Captain America, I don’t think it needs Steve Rogers anymore.”

There’s another thought on the tip of his tongue, an idea that’d been brewing in his mind for a while now. He’s not sure how Bucky will react but as their gazes lock once more it seems the idea doesn’t need to be communicated by words. Bucky already knows. 

“Sam?”

Steve nods, a weak smile. “He’s a good man.” There’s more he wants to say.  _ You are too _ , but he isn’t sure if Bucky would believe him either way, and they both know it won’t change his decision. 

“He is.” There’s a ghost of a smile on his friend’s lips and Steve thinks maybe Bucky is more content with this decision than he expected. 

“Come with me.” He insists again, his tone nearly desperate at this point. “It can be a chance for both of us to start over. Get the lives we were supposed to have.”

_ No _ , Bucky wants to say,  _ not if you’re going back for her _ . He had spent so little time watching Steve and Peggy before his life was literally stolen from him and yet somehow after all the years of torture and memory distortion he can still remember that pain perfectly. He’s finally getting back to himself again, but he’s not sure if he’s strong enough yet to go back with Steve and pretend to be happy, and he won’t ruin this for him too.

“I’m sorry Steve. I don’t belong there anymore. But you do. You deserve to be happy.” 

“Not without you.”

Bucky wonders for a moment what would happen if he asked him to stay. Not just because using time travel to change the path of your life is  _ literally insane _ but because Bucky wants him to stay because he still needs Steve even if Steve doesn’t need him. But saying that now would be selfish and he can’t be selfish with Steve anymore, not after he’s taken so much from him already.

“If I recall correctly there’s a certain dame still waiting on you for a dance.” Steve smiles but it doesn’t meet his eyes. He can’t read Bucky’s expression but it looks almost hopeful and the thought is comforting. “It’s okay Steve. It’s okay to be happy. You’ve given the world enough...plus, I think Captain America’s going to need a new wingman.” 

They both look over at Sam again. Bucky feels a bit hopeful. Steve can’t meet his gaze. He knows what he’s going to do but he isn’t ready to say it.

“I’ll let you know what I decide.” 

* * *

“Hey, Tony.”

_ Anthony Howard Stark _

_ May 29, 1970 - June 17, 2024 _

_ Husband. Father. Friend. Hero. _

_ Now at peace. _

“I’m going to return the stones tomorrow.”

All the things he'd planned to say and  _ that _ was all he could manage. Then again, it wouldn't be the first time that words failed him when it came to Tony Stark...that was a depressing thought considering where he stood now. 

The funeral had been a few days ago. Private. Family and friends only. The rest of the world would be celebrating and mourning Iron Man in their own way too, from what Steve had heard there were memorials and services and monuments being put up all around the world. Stark Industries was meant to be hosting a service for the public in a few days. This gravestone wasn't meant for the public eye though. Pepper wanted somewhere private that she and Morgan could visit, somewhere they could mourn for Tony Stark the man without having to think about the Avenger.

Steve feels almost like he's trespassing being here now, but he wanted to say goodbye. He hadn't gotten a chance the first time. 

Releasing a sigh he kneeled down to get a better look at the tombstone. So few words to describe such a complex man. They do a pretty good job of it, though he can't help but wonder if Tony would want  _ genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist _ thrown on there too. 

That memory almost makes him chuckle. Almost. Steve knew so little about Tony Stark back then. He wishes now he'd been more open. 

"I'm bringing back the stones tomorrow and I'm not coming back."

It was the first time he'd said that out loud. All of a sudden it feels real. Which is ridiculous, he already talked it over with Bucky, he's left enough hints about retiring to everyone else. Talking to a block of stone shouldn't make this plan any more official, he can still change his mind, he can still come back exactly as planned and pretend like the idea never occurred to him. He knows he won't. 

"I thought I lost my chance at having a family a long time ago." 

He stops, because that feels like the wrong thing to say. The Avengers, for however short they lasted, were a family, and he wishes he'd cherished it more while he had it. Natasha did. That's why she'd been so broken up after what happened with the Accords. Tony did too. That's why he’d blamed Steve for what happened for so long. And he’d been right too.

"Seeing you with Morgan and Pepper these last few years I just started thinking..." 

He stops again. Those dreams of his were crushed already. They were hopes he couldn't go back to now, but that wasn’t for Tony to know. 

"It wouldn't have felt right moving on until I fixed what I broke. Maybe that was selfish of me. I'm just so sorry it had to happen like this." 

He's sick of crying. He hadn't since the news about Nat, had been fighting against it almost every moment since then and he doesn't want to lose that battle now. But the guilt is starting to eat away at him again, and the nagging pit in his chest is so consuming he knows now at the very least that he's made the right decision. He can't stay here and constantly be reminded of Tony's loss, constantly feel the way he does now. 

"I think it's about time I work on getting a life of my own. I know it's late but...hopefully not too late. Not yet. I just can't wait anymore, I can't keep hoping. I have to do something and I think this is it. I think it might be my only shot." 

He's not sure who he's trying to convince anymore. This is the same speech he'd given Bucky, and although his friend claimed to understand Steve can't possibly expect him to. No matter how many times he could say it Bucky would never accept how much stronger he is than Steve. Maybe Tony would understand, but there isn’t exactly a fair shot of Tony changing Steve’s mind now.

Shaking his head softly he rises to his feet again. It's freezing out, the cold air feels strangely constricting in his throat as if he's starting to have an asthma attack like back when he was a kid. He doesn't know what else to say, isn't sure if he could manage to get out any more words even if he did know. Finally, he settles on two. 

"Thank you."


End file.
